From YouTube I came across this late 70’s docudrama that’s supposedly based on the story of a UFO contactee in the Mojave Desert. I love these old flicks so I sat and watched it.
Boy, was this flick bad. The story was complete nonsense. Some dude named Al is working at a station where a satellite is used to look for signals from space. In narration, he talks about how his wife and son died in an earthquake, a detail that has no relation to the rest of the plot. There’s an accident at the station, and the satellite explodes. Al then dedicates his life to studying alien and UFO encounters, for no apparent reason. He reads a book by a deceased scientist named Dr. Arland, who studied extraterrestrial life. Al goes to visit his widow and son to ask questions about the late doctor’s research. He befriends the son named Steve, who eventually tells Al that his dad worked on a machine called the Betatron that could rejuvenate human cells to prolong life. The idea to build it was given to him by the aliens whom he had encountered, who are from the Barnard star. The late doctor was being followed by the men in black, who suddenly begin to follow Al. Also, the UFO gave Dr. Arland a space probe, so it can follow his son Steve to make sure no harm comes to him. Eventually Al finds a briefcase containing the late Dr. Arland’s notes, left for him so that he can continue the work and build that machine. Then it ends (insert confused expression).
You, the viewer, are left scratching your head, wondering what was the damn point of any of it. A bunch of ridiculous, far fetched ideas, a plot that really goes nowhere, and many meandering scenes of the desert landscape to pad out the running time. The acting is bad, the scenes of the alien probe following Steve are laughable, and none of the ideas presented have any real conclusion. If this was really based on a true person’s story, then that person was a quack. Still, I laughed several times and was mildly entertained. This is one of those bad flicks that you’ll either need to be in the mood for, or you may need the assistance of a few alcoholic beverages to get through it, as it can be dreadfully dull at times. Then again, if you love crackpot conspiracy theories, you just might love this.
The next film I watched, a mid eighties anthology called Night Train to Terror, was also extremely bad but much more entertaining, in a “what the fuck am I watching??” kinda way. I streamed this one on Tubi.
A train is traveling on a track. In one car, there’s a bunch of partying youths, dancing and singing (badly). In another car are 2 men who are God and the Devil. They are bargaining with each other for people’s souls, determining whom God will take to heaven, and who will go to hell with Satan. They go over 3 cases, which make up the 3 short stories.
The 1st is about a guy who drugs people and brings them to an asylum, where they are murdered to have their body parts sold. The 2nd is about a young man who falls in love with a porn actress, and faces danger from the shady cult she’s a member of. The third is about a female doctor who must fight to save her husband’s soul from the Devil after he writes a book proclaiming that God is dead.
The problem is that the stories are so haphazardly put together that they hardly make any goddamned sense. So many random, nonsensical elements are tossed into each one, that they come off as a series of bizarre scenes with no real logic. I found myself alternating between being confused, wondering what the hell was the point, to laughing hysterically at the ineptitude on display. The movie is filled with so much blood, gore, and cheesy stop motion that it’s completely outrageous. It felt like the writer had a bunch of ideas he wanted to get on film, and build the stories around them, which is why everything is so illogical. The scenes of the youth partying were hilarious, even though they had no real relation to the rest of the plot. This is one film where you’ll fare best by shutting off your brain and just go along with its inanity, enjoying the random sequences of carnage and horror. This has got to be one of the most ridiculous movies I’ve ever watched.
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